My Relationship with Clothing

I spend the majority of my week in yoga clothes or pjs. On work days, I usually wait until 30 minutes before I need to leave the house to change, but I essentially just change from ratty sweats to “nicer” sweats. That said, I love fashion. When I do get a chance to wear real clothes, I can easily spend 30-45 minutes deciding what to wear without realizing it. I like to think there’s a perfect outfit for me that specific day and I just have to keep trying things until I find it, but I’m sure the reality is I’m indecisive and picky, not a good combination. I usually don’t admit any of this, even to my friends, because in my head there’s a stigma of liking clothes.

I have loved clothing for as long as I can remember, but especially from high school onwards. Honestly, I reflect back on some of the things I wore in 12th grade and I’m a bit jealous of own sense of style. As with anything, I’ve gone through phases (shoutout to my Blair Waldorf obsession in my early college years), but deep down I’ve always found joy in deciding what to wear even if it can feel like a big task.

What is it that I love about fashion? To me, it’s another means of self expression. I am a very creative person and clothing is just another medium. I don’t create my own clothing, but it’s like a puzzle. I have certain pieces and depending on how I put them together, a different image is created. I like to think I have a lot of different sides to myself and I can use clothing to express how I feel that day. Sometimes I find inspiration in a character or setting from a book or movie and use that as my foundation to build upon. But most importantly, I always chose what makes me feel good. Comfort has become a big aspect of my fashion choices, but I still chose what I find flattering for my figure. If I feel confident, that makes me comfortable and reflects in my body language and facial expressions.

I find fashion empowering, but I’ve met and loved a lot of people that could care less about what they wear. To them, clothing is purely functional. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but because I overthink everything, I have gone through times where I felt I had to suppress my love of clothing so that I didn’t come off as vain or vapid. Alternatively, there have been times where I’ve put pressure on myself because I think I shouldn’t be so materialistic. If I want to be taken seriously and appear intellectual, I shouldn’t admit to others that I matched my shoes with my belt, right?

After listening to Emma Gannon’s podcast Ctrl Alt Delete with Rosalind Jana (which you should definitely check out), I decided enough was enough. It was time to admit my clothing obsession and know that it doesn’t make me any less of a person. In fact, it gives me more depth. It ignites my creativity, it gives me confidence, and it allows me to strengthen and grow my love for myself. Just because I care about what I wear, doesn’t mean I don’t care about literature, current events, or anatomy. If others judge me for my passion and think there is something wrong with me, then I don’t want to be right.

While I’m not ready to give up my sweats, I am ready to embrace everything that makes me happy, whether it be a pair of high waisted jeans, a graphic t-shirt covered in holes, or a floral dress. No one can bring me down!

What is your favorite item of clothing? Or, what is something that empowers you no matter what others might think? Let me know in the comments below!

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