I Want to Be Seen

Within the past few months, I’ve started doing some manifestation work through Free + Native. I’ve been following them on Instagram for a while and was feeling very called to this work in August. I started by listening to every podcast Lacy, the creator, had been on. Free + Native has a few “Unblocked” programs, including Reparent and Shadow. I began with the former, and have since started the latter. While this all might initially sound “woo-woo,” I love it because this methodology is based in psychology, neuroscience, and a little spirituality. And recently I have had a couple major realizations.

My name is Madison Best and I have a deep desire to be seen. I also push people away/make myself smaller in hopes that someone will take a step closer.

Now that I have recognized these patterns, I have noticed how they have shown up in my life time and time again. It’s like everything finally makes sense. I understand past traumas and why the healing processes I went through worked. I see why I’m attracted to the type of work I do. I know that I had to find a job that required me talk in front of people for a living despite being a total introvert. I get it all. Well, most of it.

The idea behind this work is that by working through and acknowledging your stuff, you step closer and closer into being your most authentic self. And that is one of the pillars of manifestation. Of course the manifestation aspect is great, but I have found the real power of this work is in learning more and more about myself.

My yoga practice ignited my eagerness towards self actualization. As humans, we are complex, intricate, and multifaceted. Yoga opened the door to peeling away my layers, and I have since continued to go deeper with other modalities, including psychology and therapy. These programs are just another tool that is helping me along this journey of understanding and enlightenment.

My initial intention with this post wasn’t to blather on about these programs, but I must show my gratitude for them. Because having these revelations is incredible. With each new discovery, a weight is lifted and I find myself feeling giddy and excited. Learning about yourself is pretty damn cool.

As with anything, no matter how much work we do on ourself, there will always be more to learn. We are complicated, and we also have the ability to constantly change. Some days it might leave us feeling like we’re at a standstill, but then we’ll have days like I’ve recently been having where the floodgates are opened and new insights are coming in all the time. The more I begin to understand, the more I want to shout from the rooftops who I am. Because despite having my shadows, I am me. It feels empowering to see myself clearer and be able to sit with it.

So, don’t shy away from the work. Use whatever tools work for you – yoga, meditation, research, therapy, journaling, hypnosis, science, tarot, etc. Discover who you are. The light and the shadows. And don’t you dare judge yourself. Be you, unapologetically.

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